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21st June 2011

6:13am: The 20th Post
2005-11-15 17:45:59
Close to six years, and only now making my 20th post.

I think at one point I wanted to save this post for something grand, or at least content-packed.
All in all, I think that is part of why I'm so terrible at social media.
I always feel like I should say something more important, meaningful, etc.
Plus, I don't really seem to like talking about myself all that much.
Sure, there's a whole lot I could ramble about, some good.. a lot bad.. but.. I don't know, I feel bad at sharing.

Well, maybe it isn't just sharing. I'm bad at keeping up with e-mail. I also never chat up anyone in my friend/buddy lists when I venture onto IM programs- partly because I'm sure that by this point they'd be like 'Who are you?'.. and partly because most names in them haven't signed on in years. My typing speed has hovered around terrible most of my life, it was pretty good back in my active days of PhoenixMUCK, but now seems so slow that I'm embarrassed to text RP these days. I forget to visit forums, this site, and the like for months, sometimes years at a time, out of sight out of mind.
I'm just really bad at internet socializing it seems.

I'm trying to get better at it, dusting this off and remembering I set-up a twitter thing recently as well.
Though I've mainly be using it to keep tabs on TotalBiscuit and follow Palladium Books stuff since the account's resurrection.

Also, as a side note, among the bad things of the past year, my main computer [i]melted[/i] a bit. So if anyone seeing this knows how to recover addresses and possibly passwords from BeipMu, I'd appreciate it. There's a few places I'd like to be able to drop back in on, even if I'll probably never see enough time and motivation to get properly involved again. :(

True to my rambling ways, I've lost whatever narrative I had in mind for this post, so I shall end by wishing well to all the people I've ever considered an internet friend, even if I'm just a stranger to them now.
Current Mood: thoughtful

17th May 2009

1:24am: Been wanting to post for a dew days now, but work and life getting in the way.
Have a job again, in fact got one not terribly long past my last post more than a year ago.
Someone wandering into this LJ might think talking about my former girlfriend is all I do on here.. *double checks his own posts* Ok, a random person might just think I almost never post anything, and that person would be correct.

Went to the Palladium Books Open House again this year, and it was awesome. Glad I was able to take proper time off for it and make a good vacation out of it, really helped put my spirits back up.

I think I'm finally starting to get over her, though I've said that before and later found it wasn't true.. and considering how out of sorts I was before vacation, it is a sentiment that confuses me, but.. it could be. I still think about her, and hope she is well, and I still feel concern about who she is with, but I'm not suffering from specific soul-tearing sadness when such thoughts cross my mind.

Part of me wonders what people would make of me based only on my sparse posts, but while I do have more going on in my life.. I feel more comfortable talking about her here, most of my close friends not really having any practical advice in such matters, having less experience in such things than even I.

It still seem surreal looking at where I am now compared to dreams of family and maybe a home with a nice picket fence by this point just a couple years ago.

Though at some point I'm going to need to talk to her about some things to try and truly get some closure. Though I'll need to talk to my sister some too before that for some advice. I have no idea how to make any of these conversations less awkward than they should be.

I'm writing all this half asleep at 2 in the morning, I'm going to go ahead and post it, and figure it out more whenever it is that I can at a later day when I can get back to the computer.
Current Mood: lethargic

7th May 2008

12:33am: 5/5
Would have been three years last monday. Would have been.
Strange how life works out.
If I had money I would have wondered about maybe sending her something.. but that would have been awkward.
Awkward is a big problem now.. Not sure what to say to her, I want to be friends.. though when I was out of work I didn't have much to talk about.. and most stuff I would probably wouldn't interest her, I suppose. I don't mind listening to her talk about things, though I can't offer replies regarding her boyfriend, now fiancee. If she cares for him I hope things work out, but.. I still don't trust like him, I don't like that he would say things that would hurt her, even if she's not supposed to hear, even if he claims he was joking around. There are other things that bother me, but I'm not rambling to talk about him, I'm rambling to talk about her.
Still thinking about her, few times a day.. used to be a lot more. Any romantic or lonely song or story twists at the hole. Think I'm on the road to recovery, though. Still miss her, and would like to be her friend.. Though the hole is developing scar tissue.. it'll be like the one on the end of my finger eventually. Able to function, but it'll always be there, and will still hurt if you poke it directly.
Current Mood: lonely

31st March 2008

8:11pm: OMG topical rant
Ranting.Collapse )
On a positive note, looks like the hiring slump is backing off, starting to hear back from places. Yay.
Current Mood: aggravated

24th March 2008

8:31pm: RPness is great.
Back in the saddle again. I've missed text-based roleplaying.
Not to say I don't like tabletop gaming, but it has gotten more and more spotty in regularity lately.
Forte from Phoenix MUCK has returned to RPing as Forte on Rockman MUSH, and invited me to check it out as well. Looks good, I've taken up Quick Man there and have already had a few scenes. Still not posing as fast as I'd like, but I'll work that rust off in time.
Wooo RP!
Current Mood: happy

16th February 2008

3:28pm: Now, I don't normally just post a video, but..

..WTF + Japanese Spiderman has cooler toys. O_o
Current Mood: amused

6th February 2008

4:23am: At this moment I am oddly filled with peace and tranquility. I don't know why or for what reason, but it feels really freaking nice.
Current Mood: happy

22nd December 2007

2:50pm: So wrong..
..yet amusing.
Current Mood: amused

12th December 2007

4:02pm: Got bored and roamed around LJ for a bit, found something I found amusing and thought I'd try it for the sake of randomly putting something up.

Go to Wikipedia and hit the Random article link 17 times, recording the topic of each. The first one is your band's name, the next is the album title, and the the next 15 are tracks on the album.

My results:

Band: Fusaichi Pegasus
Cool sounding name, and apparently a rather good race horse. Good start.

Album: Intercision
Also cool sounding, and, in the context of the article, somewhat dark. Get to the bottom of the page and find it's related to Golden Compass, might take interest in watching the movie sometime.


1: T.C. Power and Bro Sounds like 80s music group or 80s video game/video game character. Sadly the article disagrees.
2: Mauser M59 A gun, oddly Norwegian despite the name and the others with that name.
3: Nepsydaz Interesting sounding name, and a popular group in Napal.
4: Christopher Vokes Canadian soldier, apparently kicked some butt in WW2.
5: Sydney County Council Nothing interesting to say about this one, really.
6: Cebeci İnönü Stadium No idea how to pronounce that.
7: Harlem: Diary of a Summer Hrn.. been getting a couple rap/hop results in here.
8: Java Card OpenPlatform See? Now there's something worth singing about.
9: Brigade Temporelle Time travel and alternate timelines? Alright! French though.
10: St Bede's School, Hailsham
11: Halfmoon Bay, British Columbia Nice name.
12: Email to the Universe Interesting name, and the subject matter sounds interesting as well.
13: Jeff Jacobson (Alaska) Stubs like these remind me why webcomic authors have a strong right to be upset at being targeted and removed as 'non-notable'.. but that's a whole 'nother rant.
14: Jayanta Mahapatra Physics teacher turned poet.
15: This track was eaten by a grue.

After careful consideration.. this would have been much cooler if I had used Wookieepedia instead.
Current Mood: bored

28th September 2007

9:55am: Me: *glances at his LJ* 6_6 I'll update... one day... maybe... u.u;;
dynamo_hunter_a: do it now
Me: How do I cover 2 car accidents, related suckiness, girlfriend breaking up near the two year mark while I'd been saving for a ring (delayed twice by accidents), living with her and being her friend while she hooks up with a moody/emo kid she met on City of Heroes, switching to crappy nightshift at work to afford new apartment with a friend, moving and related hassles, eventually getting dicked over hardcore by Wal-Mart after being an Electronics Associate for 6 years, and now grinding my teeth and stomping around angrily every night at work the rage at it boiling so hard I can't even try to deal with those involved because I know I'll start yelling and cursing- and I'm not the yelling and cursing type, I freaking HATE being angry, don't like it at all, but this has me angrier than I've ever been in my entire freaking life. So I've got a good lead into a different workplace, but it's taking longer than I'd like, hopefully sooner rather than later.
Me: And my Dad got a good job offer back west like he's wanted/needed for awhile, the new job even helped pack them up. So now my parents are across the country, and I've been helping move/throw out stuff my last several days off. It's kinda strange when I'm in their old home with it pretty much empty.
Me: Between arguments, irregular appearances, nightshift killing my brain, and general burn out all my campaigns are on hold. My one friend's Eberron campaign sputtered out, though he's been poking around a BESM D20 game. Another friend abandoned his Heroes Unlimited campaign, which I technically picked up, but my burn-out still looms, and his nifty D20 Future time-related game with invading aliens seems to been on hiatus, but he's started up a rather enjoyable GURPS Banestorm game whose basis is inspired by the 1632 books. I went to the Palladium Open House this year, mainly because I had that weekend off for what would have been me and my ex-girlfriend's anniversary, the third date I planned to proposed on (first would have been the year before but for the first accident eating money when some jerk shot out of a driveway into moving traffic (but it got to be 'my fault' since I had the gall the be turning left like the ten cars in front and behind), the second would have been Christmas but for new tires and and a slick road accident (with the new tires no less)).. where was I? Ah yes.. but instead she had just gotten back from flying down to Texas for a week to visit her new boyfriend, and was very very happy. And I AM happy for her, I want her to be happy. Just that being happy without me hurts me too.. So yeah, went up to the Palladium Open House. Cool stuff met lots of writers and gamers and bought up a bunch of books I was missing, even followed some of the freelancers up.. they were running behind so they drove fast, discovered my Buick tops out at 120! o_o ^_- But anyway.. this has been a jumbled out of order mess with no dates attached- see what you made me do dynamo_hunter_a! Grr! *fist shake*
So yeah, live with a friend in an apartment on the same complex as another friend, so I see them fairly often. My ex-girlfriend transfered to Texas and moving in with his new boyfriend. I had a birthday and am now starting to officially head toward old, instead of just feeling old. I really need that new job, for better work environment, daylight hours, and to get away from the rage.
I said I wanted to unpack everything when I moved in here because I'm tired of crap in boxes and half packed, I'd like to just plain settle in and stop moving crap.. and most stuff is packed after 2-3 months.. damnit night shift has me with no perception of days/weeks anymore.

I have good days, I have bad. I'm surviving. Just had a big pile of crap get dropped off in my lap every couple months since January, but things are trying to look up. Though looking back on the past year, I'm glad I don't drink or anything, because it's certainly enough to get someone drinking quite a bit. Sort of string of fate that sees if he can handle things going to pot.
I just hope I've reached the end of it, because I am tired in every sense of the word nearly everyday, mitigated by hanging out with friends.. really glad I'm this close to a couple of them now, I don't say it, but I've really needed the support net.

Dangnabbit, I'm STILL rambling on.

So frustrated in so many ways. Hell, I'm frustrated that I'm even typing all this out, I usually run with the 'bottle it up quietly' method of (not) resolving inner turmoil.

Well, I'm tired, so I'm going to stop for now, and knowing my MO, I'd be surprised to see me rant again for awhile.. but it was.. ok to finally put some of this shit down. Also the first entry I've marked Friends only, so feel honored all, what- four?, of you.. aka, sorry for submitting you to my pissing and moaning, I'll try to keep emo-content on low.

Thanks for listening.

Aside: Hrm, started off as a reply to Dynamo and exploded into a bunch of stuff.. guess that's how I cover it. Had planned on doing a timeline for some godawful reason, don't think I'll bother now.

EDIT: 5/7/08. Decided to remove the friend-lock so people seeing the post for that date can see more background if they want.
Current Mood: melancholy

16th September 2007

2:04pm: Happy Birthday to me. Yay.
I'm getting old. Meh.

How's life doin' out there?
Current Mood: mellow

14th July 2007

9:52am: Hi, Live Journal.

Find out which Transformer you are at LiquidGeneration!


I need to update here and check on friends more often.
Gah.. too much to say has changed/happened..
Short Version: Life is bizzare.
One day I may do the long version.. hopefully.
Current Mood: drained

20th February 2007

8:57pm: Hell if I know..
So many strange and sad things in my life, and yet a never remember to post. Maybe I'll manage to think of it more after/if I move again..
Current Mood: pessimistic

7th September 2006

6:43pm: Randomness 1.0
Woo, I took a quiz (Stolen from wondergecko)! Allow me to share to results, maybe eventually I'll actually post something about how things are going, but for now- A sign that I live!

My Personality
Openness To Experience
Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report

Ugg Boots, MySpace Codes and MySpace Layouts by Pulseware Survey Software

Personally, I think I'm fairly agreeable. The sub-section on it rates most things well, but thinks I rank low in cooperation and modesty. I'll take low modesty, I mean I am great and all, but I don't recall any questions even relating to cooperating on the test. O.o
Current Mood: weird

6th July 2006

11:35pm: In case you don't know, I've been back at work. Bleck.
Insert a lot of whining here. Always sucks to go back to work after being away. Changed somethings, ok. Announced future changes, bleck. Often alone running a minimum 2-3 person department, situation normal. *shrug*
If it weren't for being underpaid I wouldn't even faze me.

Trying out the 'Sponsored+' thing. Only thing that bothers me if that it appears at the side and squishes my posts. Any means to fix that? A way to put it at the top or something?

Yay stuff. x.x *ded*
Current Mood: lonely

20th June 2006

3:17pm: I'm on vacation for a few days..

I NEED RP!!!!!!!!!!! *fist shake*

Khaaaaaan! Ehem. Really, come on. Giant robots, cyborgs, ninja, samurai, mages, anamorphic widescreen, drama, combat, explosions, spoofing NPCs, kicking puppies, saving kittens, good guy, bad guy, whathave you! ;0;

Speaking of anamorphic widescreen, this new Star Wars issue has caused me to lose all respect for George Lucas.
http://www.thedigitalbits.com/mytwocentsa121.html looks like the best run down of it in one place, with links to others. Scroll down to '5/19/06' for info, the one after has more links.

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/06/07 while not informative, is amusing.
Current Mood: frustrated

3rd June 2006

12:26pm: Someone get me a floating text box so people can 'hear' me.
Lost my voice + sore throat and cough. Wheee. Either sick or a severe case of allergies, either way: it=teh suck.
So I should be laying down right now or something... does sitting here count? x.x

I feel like I should do something semi-productive. I'm tired but not tired enough to just drop to sleep and stiff enough that it's uncomfortable to get off my ass. Found a three year old text file with quiz codes in it, maybe I'll go through and see how many are the same now. Or brainstorm for characters at places.

In other news, in my friend's Eberron campaign, 2.5 (one is sometimes there) level 7 people vs a Drowned undead after being hit with a tsunami of water = OW-OW-OW x.X We knew we were in serious trouble when I action pointed the turning check got 20 + 6, and he said he'd even give me a extra HD worth for the natural 26... and failed. (/cry) More than 13D12, and the check result being refered to as 'not even close'. He later said the look and sound I made was just priceless. At first we consider a running battle, as me on foot and the halfling on his clawfoot outstripped it in speed. So everyone else breaks for it and I stay next to it fighting defensively for a round to make sure everyone else got clear. It still hit. Twice. Hard. I asked the DM if those felt like a solid hit from it or a glancing blow. He said the lesser of the two hits was closer to glancing. (/OMG) Even with damage reduction (adamantine warforged), one more hit could have put me down, which would kill the adventure since I was the healer. So, I broke out the math, and Stone Shape, in this ancient STONE temple.. Had hoped to save that trick for our main opponents we were after, but that was one stop that had to be pulled. So along with a line of handholds along the wall, a foot wide perimeter seperated from itself and flatened.. allowing 30+ square feet of 12.5 thick ceiling and floor to give way. Centered on the Drowned. 50 foot fall to the next floor followed by the ceiling slab falling down on top of it. If it isn't dead, it's stuck. Hopefully. In any event the gargantuan scorpion in the room throughly enjoyed the two Emerald Claw soldiers that were on the floor side of the dropped ceiling. ^___^ My character has Profession: Engineering for good reason. -_^
Afterward the DM let us know the Drowned was 20HD, with bonus hp, and we could see the wounds we dealt closing up again, so fast healing too. O.O And rated CR 8. O.o; We were looking at near TPK, it took it three round to bring the highest AC/hp guy (With DR!) to near death. CR 8 my arse. </geek>
Current Mood: sore

30th May 2006

12:48pm: Well, I finally got my old Win98 computer running again! There are those that know of this long and arduous journey, but for those without, let us just say it was a brain spasming, year-long, pain in the ass to get it fully functional and connecting properly.
Why is this important? So that I can play old games, be online while my girlfriend (*smootch to you*) plays City of Heroes or the Sims, and most importantly- access my media archives and other old files. Spent at least two hours last night just browsing through every directory making a playlist out a few songs here and there. Seriously though- Where/why/how the hell did I get a German version of Chala Head(the Japanese opening theme for DBZ)? Sounds freaking pretty good actually, like a full remake rather than dubbing new lyrics. Certainly a better effort than our 'Rock the Dragon', which wasn't all that horrible.. justa kinda meh in terms of something you could just sit and listen to.
Also, reinstalled Pueblo, my M* connector of choice, and got to dance around as it found my old world list in my rescued profile data. Admittedly, 96% of the worlds on it are defunct, and another ~3.3% are dead, but still, I like to reminiscence, big fan of it actually.
Speaking of which, a found a few old LJ bookmarks, one that would have been to Rock@PhoenixMUCK, but it comes up as deleted- Is Senseir ok?
Current Mood: contemplative

12th May 2006

11:59am: Woo! Second post!
Well, been working overnight the past week setting new mods for the department, so my brain power for interaction has been nil- Yet now the time of talking begins anew!
Still need to start poking folk with my LJ and see how many I can track down. Only remember the names of a few LJs, the used to have links but there are trapped in my old '98 machine ATM.
In theory this should one of the first posts the next wave will see so.. 'Greetings!' and in some cases, 'Long time no see!'
... I feel like such a n00b in this situation. ._.;

PS: Is the advertising option worth it?

PPS: Have KH1&2 and wonder what you're missing inbetween or want to review? Ahem: Booyah.
Current Mood: tired

6th May 2006

3:02am: First Update! (Better late than never?)
Well, 7 months later and I finally say something. ... Hi!
.. Ok, maybe not the most positive start. At least I knew myself well enough when I picked the title 'Will he ever update?' no?
I made a point to setup this account to try and make a central place to try and keep in touch with people I know online after having been offline for awhile. Alot of 'try' in that last sentence. I made it, never updated, never passed on the username to the couple I still have contact with, and been a mostly quiet presence barely ever chatting or anything.
Admittedly there are some mitigating circumstances; holidays, work, work durning the holidays, bleck, apartment, car, various related annoyances.. etc, etc, whine, moan.. You get the idea.

If somehow you are reading this and don't know me all that well.. prehaps I can share some information about me?
Roleplaying is one of my favorite hobbies: Live Action, Video Games, Pencil and Paper, Dice, Free Form, MMO, Text-based..
That last one is the main place I knew people online from. Starting with story/rp-heavy MUDs back in the day, to MOOs, to a MUCK. I usually focus most my attentions on one place at a time rather than divide my littled attention between places, the last regular place having been PhoenixMUCK, where I particularly enjoyed my time with the Rockman cast as Punk and Katana Panda, though my first character there, Leilong, for what little activity he saw in comparison, was also well enjoyed. My characters there idled out while I was offline following my move, but on return it really seems that Phoenix has died out from my perspective, prehaps this is wrong but it is what I see. I also had begun to play BlackGateMUX before my loss of connection, but with work/holidays/MMO from that year I didn't make enough time to get much done, and upon my return found it was quite dead. Tis a pity, I liked the ideas there.
I have a couple neglected characters in City of Heroes/Villians.
I run a D20 Modern/Fantasy/Future/Conspiracy/Trans-everything campaign in which I confuse my players from multiple angles.
I have a million things on the backburner.. they are stacked kinda unevenly so sometimes they fall over everything and get mixed up with what I'm currently doing.
With a lack of funds I've been absent from my live action games for over a year now, bills=teh suck, and the free one lost their land awhile ago.
I have my own apartment now, which in part explains bills and lost time.
I share said apartment with my wonderful girlfriend. And though it's not really anyone's business, having said that I shall mention that we are not sexually active. Call us old fashioned in that respect and respect that.
I play in a friend's Eberron campaign as a warforged cleric of Onatar.
I have a number of heroes in a local homebrew superhero game.
I have attempted to play a superhero in another friend's Heroes Unlimited campaign, with mixed results, but I'm not dead!
I've been feeling the Text-based bug nipping at my heels again and I've been poking around for a new home to plant my M* RP flag.

Style wise my character preferences tend to roam all over the map, I'll tend to check for underdone/needed characters first and work my way out. I like big poses, but I tend to manage mid-sided ones myself, poor typing speed for the most part. I prefer to get inside a character's head and try to respond as truely as I can to what I belive the characters would act and taking the consquences as best I can within the character. Though I usually take characters that I can, on some level, relate to, or at least strongly understand, though I still manage to be comfortable with a wide range of character types.

Geez.. Am I still rambling away? Didn't start this off to be so long, mainly meant to do a nice, 'Hey! I'm alive!' statement, though once I get started I can lose track of time and just keep going, and going, and going, and going... ow!

Anyhoo, think I'll cut it off there for the moment. Let's hear it for finally posting something!

Current Mood: contemplative
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